I'm still having a lovely time in Goa. I met one of the owners of the place where I'm staying, Veejay and his wife Tara, and they arranged for me to stay in another cottage for a discounted price. I'm very happy that I will get to stay here or the rest of my time in Goa because it is a very nice spot. Here is my new cottage:
I love it. And Veejay and Tara are awesome. They are from London and we have had some nice chats over chai. They are really thoughtful people and they have given me some good advice. I like them.
Today after breakfast, I walked north on the beach for two hours and came to a small village. I didn't spend much time there, but I bought a couple sarongs in a market built into the rocky hillside. It was a really nice walk and gave me a lot of time to think. The tide was a little lower on the way back, so it only took half the time. I love walking on this beach more than any beach I've ever visited. Not only is the sand soft and cool, but there is so much to see! I passed different kinds of crabs, an eel or snake of some sort, many dogs, and four cows! It is also fun to see all the different "shacks," which are bars/restaurants that cater to the beach goers. Here is a shack:
And here is Baywatch: India:
Yes, the lifeguards wear red. There are lots of starfish on the beach. They get buried under the sand, but you can find them by the outline.
I picked one up on the first day and then realized it was alive! I threw it in the water. It makes me sad that all those places in Florida that sell starfish had to dry them out and kill them first. I never really thought about that before. Starfish are really amazing creatures.
I am so glad to be feeling like myself again after months of depression. It is like coming out of a dark closet. And it is like coming out of a closet because I've felt like I had to hide it from everyone except my closest friends and family. I realize now that all that does is perpetuate the stigma surrounding the illness. I'm not going to be embarrassed about it anymore because I want to encourage people dealing with depression to get help. I cannot do that inside a closet. I think I have learned something very important about overcoming depression, something that Elizabeth Gilbert brings up in Eat, Pray, Love. When you are in the throes of depression (and I am speaking of severe, clinical depression, just to be clear), there does not seem to be any good or positivity in the world or in yourself. It is an extremely hopeless outlook. So if you are experiencing that and you come across something that gives you even a glimmer of hope, seize it! That is what India was for me. It began as an idea, but as it developed, I started to feel a little hope. It was like a little spark in a dark tunnel, offering the possibility of light and life somewhere down the road.
India has not and will not cure me, but it has reminded me that there is more to life than one sees in the midst of depression. Perhaps more importantly, I've started to like myself again. I like who I am when I'm venturing out into the world alone. This is me, not that person crying on the floor. I'm a survivor (cue Beyonce), not a quitter. That's what I want to take home with me.
Thanks for reading. Love, Betsy
Today after breakfast, I walked north on the beach for two hours and came to a small village. I didn't spend much time there, but I bought a couple sarongs in a market built into the rocky hillside. It was a really nice walk and gave me a lot of time to think. The tide was a little lower on the way back, so it only took half the time. I love walking on this beach more than any beach I've ever visited. Not only is the sand soft and cool, but there is so much to see! I passed different kinds of crabs, an eel or snake of some sort, many dogs, and four cows! It is also fun to see all the different "shacks," which are bars/restaurants that cater to the beach goers. Here is a shack:
I am so glad to be feeling like myself again after months of depression. It is like coming out of a dark closet. And it is like coming out of a closet because I've felt like I had to hide it from everyone except my closest friends and family. I realize now that all that does is perpetuate the stigma surrounding the illness. I'm not going to be embarrassed about it anymore because I want to encourage people dealing with depression to get help. I cannot do that inside a closet. I think I have learned something very important about overcoming depression, something that Elizabeth Gilbert brings up in Eat, Pray, Love. When you are in the throes of depression (and I am speaking of severe, clinical depression, just to be clear), there does not seem to be any good or positivity in the world or in yourself. It is an extremely hopeless outlook. So if you are experiencing that and you come across something that gives you even a glimmer of hope, seize it! That is what India was for me. It began as an idea, but as it developed, I started to feel a little hope. It was like a little spark in a dark tunnel, offering the possibility of light and life somewhere down the road.
India has not and will not cure me, but it has reminded me that there is more to life than one sees in the midst of depression. Perhaps more importantly, I've started to like myself again. I like who I am when I'm venturing out into the world alone. This is me, not that person crying on the floor. I'm a survivor (cue Beyonce), not a quitter. That's what I want to take home with me.
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