Christian Dale Soronen

Yesterday, I gave a eulogy in honor of the life of my precious friend and roommate, Christian Soronen. God gave me strength and calmness all morning, until the minute I stepped off the platform. It all came out after that, but I am so thankful that I was able to get through the eulogy. I so admire Christian's family - I don't know how they are holding themselves together as well as they are. They are so kind and loving - the apple did not fall far from the tree.

I am going to get through this, but I don't know how. I expect the grieving process to take a very long time, and that is okay. That is the cost that we must eventually pay for allowing ourselves to love. It doesn't mean we should stop loving our friends and family or distancing ourselves from them. This is just the cycle of life.

I am more afraid of the consequences of the trauma that I experienced as a result of finding her precious little body. I've never experienced trauma before and it messes with your mind and body. Flashbacks, tremors, startle sensitivity, loss of appetite, inability to sleep, forgetfulness and even mild amnesia ate some of the symptoms I've experienced. It is called Acute Stress Disorder for the first month. If it worsens after a month, it is called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. It is very treatable through therapy, which I have already started, but it could be a long process. It will be okay though. The therapist assures me that all of my symptoms are normal human reactions to traumatic situations. I have not slid back in to depression (thank God), but my anxiety has increased and I've been very moody.

It will be a process, but I will make it through. I know she would want me to come out of this a stronger person. I'm going to try.